Inane Dribble

Sometimes I am glad I am not a Californian. Oh wait, I live in Utah…

This is a therapy post. You have been warned.

Do you ever get that feeling that things just aren’t working the way they are supposed to?
I am going through my annual “look back” period as I get ready for my birthday. My dad used to tell me that time goes faster as you get older. I never believed him until I got older. Funny thing about little pearls of wisdom like that. They are always funny until you realize that they are true.

Anywho, as I mentioned, I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on the last year and how I have grown and what I did and did not accomplish. I won’t go in to specifics because they are personal and you are too nosy.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about my mother in the last few months. As I get closer to the age she was when she died, it kind of freaks me out. I know she made a lot of dubious choices in her life but it would have been kind of nice to have known her. Or at the very least to know the medical history of that side of the family to know what to watch out for. I find myself wishing I had pictures, or some kind of good memories of her, but it is too late for all of that.
I am usually excited for my birthday. Its always right around Thanksgiving. (Because the entire country celebrates, and devoted a day to give thanks that I was born, of course.)
This year will be the first time in life that I have gone to work on my birthday. Normally, as I mentioned, I get excited. Not in anticipation of gifts or parties, but because I have always seen birthdays as a celebration of life. (And I have had a freakin’ awesome life)
This year, I am just not that excited. I don’t know why.

In the shower this morning, it dawned on me that Christmas is only a month away. I haven’t even started to get excited for Christmas yet. I need to get into my holiday spirit!

I think my year boils down to this:
Things happen. Deal with it.

I have my goals for next year. (Don’t ask, nosy nellie!)
I *WILL* be excited for the holidays!

YOU WILL BE NICE TO PEOPLE TODAY!

I was thinking again. That always leads to trouble.

Are you the same person you were 15 years ago? Aside from all the “personal growth” stuff and maturity and all of that. Are you even similar?
Maxine and I are pushing up on 15 years this March and I have spent a lot of time thinking about our journey so far.

If the “then me” were to meet the “now me,” would I recognize me? Usually when people think about things like this, it leads to the question, “Would the young me like the old me?”
I think that question is complete BS.
As I look back at the things I was doing 15-20 years ago…man, I was a dumbass.
It’s amazing that I am not dead, in jail, or diseased. I have always been incredibly impulsive and lived for the moment. Most of my choices when I was younger reflect that.

That is why I met Maxine when I did. The universe has its way of bringing complimentary forces together.
Where I am impulsive, she is meticulous.
Where I am arrogant, she is humble.
When I am passionate and emotional about a topic, she is a thoughtful and level headed.
When she is passionate and emotional about a topic, I am thoughtful and level headed.
Where I am sometimes creative in my answers, she is honest in all she does. (I prefer being called a master of spin, thank you very much. It is a great skill to be able to twist the truth without having to lie.)
I love being able to watch a show with her and we can have a perfectly calm discussion on our very different views. It doesn’t matter what subject. If we disagree, we can discuss it. (Although on most topics our views are fairly close. I think religion is the biggest gap.)

While it is pretty cliche to call your spouse your best friend, I think it is pretty obvious with anyone that knows us. When it comes to Maxine, I am pretty much a stalker with a healthy obsession. There are so many things she is good at, so many reasons why I love her. I won’t bore you all with the details. (And believe me, I could go on for some time…)

I think it all sums up to one statement.

We are perfect for each other.

But I love my family more.

That means I stopped watching today’s game at halftime. Its probably a good thing.
Holy shit, it was BAD! After we got home from running a few errands, I commented to Maxine that at least I got to see the highlights before we left.
(That would be the one field goal that they managed to score and Brian Urlacher’s interception)

I have been a Bears fan for my entire memorable life. Good years, bad years, in between years, all of them. There was a few years in there that I didn’t follow them closely, but that is ok because they REALLY REALLY sucked during that period and I was not paying attention to any sports.

I have had so many highs and lows based on their performance. Its really an odd phenomenon. I heard someone on the radio mention once that sports fans lack perspective. They (the fans) need to realize that they care more than the athletes that participate. That person was specifically referring to NBA players but I think it holds true in all sports to some extent.
That being as it may, I will continue to spend my hard earned cash on merchandise commemorating my favorite teams. I may never go to their games for a variety of reasons but I support them however I can. (Mostly with unheard cheers, screams, and obscenities.)

I love the NFL and I enjoy watching many other sports. (Except hockey, soccer, and car racing. I don’t understand any of those.) My newfound enjoyment of MMA fighting has expanded my horizons somewhat but it is still nowhere near my love of the NFL. I thought about doing a post on why I think football is the perfect sport but this post is already long enough. Maybe someday.

It’s Sunday.

I only watched about 10 minutes of football today. A rare thing but not totally unheard of. Especially with the funk I have been in lately. I couldn’t even tell you who played who or who won.

Regin was in a church program today so we went to support her. She seems to be enjoying going to church and who knows if she will keep going now that the program is over. It’s completely her choice and I try to keep my comments to a minimum. (Although I wasn’t all that successful today during the program) Oh man, I feel a rant coming on. I…will…try…to…suppress…it…

Fail. (If you plan to be offended, please stop reading now. Otherwise, I can make no promises.)

Ok, so I am all for people going to church. To each their own and all that. But having children take the stage to parrot lines that they do not comprehend irritates the @#$@! out of me. I approve of Regin going to church because she makes the conscious decision to do so. I approved of her participation in the program today because she understood her lines and exactly what they meant. (I personally didn’t agree with them but it is for her to decide, not me.) But to see small children reading off lines to make their parents look good to their neighbors…ARGGG! And the cherry on top is the kids that are not old enough to read being whispered their lines by an adult (not their parent) and them butchering the words to the amusement of everyone in the congregation.
I struggle with the belief that any human being can “know” anything is true. When an adult tells me their particular church is true and they “know” it (regardless of the religion) I may disagree but they can decide for themselves. They have the mental capacity and maturity to delude themselves however they want to. When someone that can’t even get themselves dressed in the morning says they “know” their church is true or they testify to anything it tells me something entirely different.
To me, it means they are not being raised to think for themselves.

*Disclaimer inspired by Maxine*
I know this is incredibly unpopular amongst many of the people that read this. My goal was not to offend anyone. What is right for my family may not be right for your family. I prefer to leave important decisions like this to my kids when they are old enough to make the intelligent decision for themselves. There is no “one way” that is right or better than any other. I love you all, and puppies and kittens, and flowers…